unsettling concept.
it is rigid, cold,
and not half as illogical as
most other schools of thought.
karma is like freakin'
grade point average.
it is cumulative,
too much bad must be
neutralised with
WAY too much good.
the bad tend to haunt you
to no end,
like how one tragic D grade
will take a lifetime of A pluses
to get over.
it is just too uncomfortable
believing that you have
that much say over destiny.
who wants to be admit
that they brought all the
shit upon themselves?
it is more comforting holding on
to something fluffier
and more ambiguous like
"God has a plan".
karma is also sad for us
lesser mortals
who really have nothing to
show for when we finally have
to reincarnate since we can't
seem to attain nirvana and
will have to stay in the vicious
cycle of life followed by death.
heaven talk is happier.
they say its like "going home
to the Lord",
like its a comparatively
greater idea.
altho' karma isnt really
meant to be about
retribution, vengeance,
or punishment
it attributes present experiences
to past actions.
which makes it impossible
to be healthy.
when my mother learnt about
her cancer
it broke her.
it's not only about grappling
with a seemingly imminent death,
it's about what karma is suggesting.
if she had to believe in karma,
she would have to live with the reasoning that:
She has been a bad person, therefore,
she deserves to suffer.
she would then have to go down
the slippery slope and
believe that the world will
judge her
based on the same conclusion.
karma blames.
so,
maybe i really don't want
any real answer.
i think want to believe in the
milder, more forgiving
suggestion.
10:58 PM